The Uncertainty of An Empty Nest

Wanda Wade

I’ve heard stories about the empty nest syndrome but have never really given it much thought until now. My youngest son has begun his final year of high school and I’m plagued with the thought of how much our lives will change when he graduates. For him, he’ll be leaving home, adjusting to college life, making his own decisions without me looking over his shoulder, and having the freedom to do things the way he wants to.

For me, I’ll be among the ranks of empty nesters. He’s the youngest of four and soon the house will be free of any children. It’s a surreal thought and not one I relish, instead I find myself pondering, how I’ll navigate my life after raising children. Aside from working and pursuing my degree, mothering has consumed the bulk of my adult life. The quiet demand of my time and space will come to an end. Forgotten laundry in the dryer, loud teenage boys sprawled on the couch and a home free of Kendrick Lamar blaring behind the closed door of my son’s bedroom, sounds like a welcomed change, right?

Now that the time is near, I thought I’d be more excited with the idea of being carefree. In those rare moments when my children were younger and depended on me every waking moment I had fleeting thoughts of what my life was like before motherhood. It didn’t diminish the immense joy I felt from being a mom, rather, it was a true indication that my choices and decisions had an impact on more than just my life. Some days it was overwhelming and challenging, especially when it was coupled with juggling schedules, activities, moods and the needs of everyone involved.

As time moved on the memory of a carefree life moved farther away, and I no longer wanted to think about my life before them. Now as the empty nest draws near those memories bombard my mind again but ironically, they no longer apply to my life. I was a much younger version of myself and the things I wanted to do then don’t appeal to me now.

Motherhood changed my life and my priorities, which is my reluctance with the empty nest. The inevitable shift in my life and priorities again. I’ve grown accustomed to this purposeful life and don’t want it to change.

An empty nest is all about change and trying to figure out how to navigate my life after raising children. It’ll be a time to rediscover myself and move toward a new purpose. Though my future is uncertain, I’ll look toward it with hope.

For my son, it’ll be his time to grow into the man that I can see him becoming with each passing day. His opportunity to learn more about who he is and what he wants educationally as well as for his life overall. For me, it’ll be a new beginning. A life with no boundaries or schedules, except my own. A chance for me to fulfill those dreams or ideas that were put on hold while I basked in motherhood. The opportunities are bountiful, and both of our futures are bright. The only requirement is that we both embrace what lies ahead and welcome what the future may hold.

The uncertainty of anything, can open the door to everything - wanda wade