Misconception of Men

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Misconception of Men 
Wanda Wade

As women, do we have a realistic view of men or have we created something in our heads of what we’d like them to be? Whenever my girlfriends and I get together the topic of men will undoubtedly creep into our conversation.  It’s a topic that's fun, insightful, serious and downright juicy. We discuss everything from what we think makes a man a great catch, to the ever regretful question of, what was I thinking? That question usually brings laughter and some introspection. Although we sometimes complain about men, one steadfast conclusion we all agree upon is, us without them will not work. Which brings me to my current topic. Instead of complaining about men why not take a closer look into our polar opposites and try to get a better understanding of what makes them tick?

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m no expert when it comes to men but I believe I’ve learned quite a bit about and from them. For instance, if a man is focused on you he will do whatever it takes to win your heart. As much as he is hard there’s definitely a softer side to him, though it does take a little patience and a lot of trust to see. In their defense men have been taught not to show emotion because let's face it, the world shuns in this wonderful and crazy world it can sometimes be looked upon as a weakness.

I believe the biggest misconception we have about men is that we expect them to be like us, to think like us and to react the same way that we do to things but honestly that’s just unrealistic. The book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus hits it dead on, simply by the title alone.  Just as these two planets function differently so do men and women and it’s a wonder that we don’t bump heads more often than we do. 

Think about the planet of Mars and what it represents. It's named after the Roman god of war, thus giving a man strength, power and the ability to hunt. Venus on the other hand happens to be softer and is named after the Roman goddess of beauty and love, which can definitely be likened to most women. Our outward appearance is what generally captures the attention of men so being compared to Venus is not a far reach. 

Women also seem to have an innate ability to equate most things with love.  For example, if your guy forgets a birthday or  any other significant event, how often do you say or even think to yourself, he doesn’t love me. This happens because of the emotions you have tied to the event and your expectation of how you want him to think. An easy solution could be to send him a reminder or even put it on his calendar. Although, some women may see this as holding his hand the end result is the same. He holds your hand by protecting you, keeping you safe and loving you. In return, you get the comfort of him being there, no hurt feelings and together the two of you get to share a special moment. After all,  with him is where you want to be and in an effort to make that happen I suggest that we give men a break by learning to embrace their differences and even more, to be understanding  in spite of them.

The misconception of men may be our own misconception - wanda wade

This Thing Called Marriage

This Thing Called Marriage
Wanda Wade

Looking back to when I was a young single woman I can say now I had the wrong idea about marriage. Particularly those I considered to be good marriages. I’d see a couple successful in their career and who appeared to be carefree and I’d say to myself, that’s it. That’s the kind of marriage I want. I was so caught up in the superficial, more focused on what it looked like from the outside, yet having no clue of what it could possibly be on the inside. I believed if it looked good from afar then surely it must be even better up close.  Boy was I wrong.  It wasn’t until I got married that I realized it takes a lot more than the appearance of happiness to create a lasting union. 

In relationships there are good times as well as bad yet the true test of your commitment comes through during those difficult times. Think about your own relationship; how do the two of you withstand the struggles that have been known to tear many marriages apart?  It’s easier to stay together during good times but what happens when it’s not so good? I believe when couples go through difficult times the easiest thing to do is run, run to someone else, run within yourself or completely check out of the relationship. For those who know the true meaning of commitment they’ve realized early on that it’s work and a lot of it. For all practical purposes I think we want and believe that marriage should be easy. You find the person you want to be with and then you live happily ever after.  For starters, there’s no such thing, not in the fairy-tale sense of it anyway. Let’s be real, marriage is work, sacrifice, compromise, forgiveness, love, respect, and it will definitely test your staying power.  

The key to creating and maintaining a successful union can be achieved by continually thinking about what is best for the relationship even if that means putting the needs of your spouse before your own. My theory is, that if both of you are doing this then it makes for a favorable outcome for the union.  He’s meeting your needs and you’re meeting his. What could be better than that? It’s a win-win for both of you if this feat can be accomplished. I know it sounds easier said than done but in the end the reward far outweighs the compromise that it’ll take to get you there.

My parents were married for fifty years, that’s the fairy-tale, the real love story. They weathered many storms together; raising children, family differences, job loss, health issues, finances and career changes but according to my mom those were the easy things. After my own marriage woes I needed my faith restored in the happily ever after and what better reference than the one I had in front of me.  It was then that I began to look further than what my eyes could see in hopes of not repeating the same mistakes again and what I found was a love beyond measure, and a marriage that withstood the test of time.  By no means was it perfect, but their love and commitment kept them together through life and all its difficulties.

Staying in a marriage for fifty years is definitely a choice and I’m proud to have witnessed it. Their love story is one of sacrifice, commitment and compromise. It was true love, a real love, an imperfect love and one that I strive for every day.

                                    A lasting marriage is the fairy-tale - wanda wade

Without You

Without You

Wanda Wade

Did you talk to God about what it would do

Not to have you

And did you know

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How it would break us into

Pieces of sadness on a sunny day

When you went away

Our lives forever changed

Never to be the same

Without you here

With a listening ear

An open heart

You did your part

To be the best for us

In this we trust

Still you could not stay

Just one more day

And like the rain flows

Our tears grow

To understand

That no matter how great of a man

It was in God’s plan

That by His side you would be

Til eternity

Our memories we cherish

And they will carry

Us through our lives

One day at a time

I Write

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  I Write

Wanda Wade                                         

I write to express

I want to release

I write to escape

For me, it’s my therapy

I write to empower

I want to inspire

It’s my way of being found, when I’m lost

I write to inform

I want to give hope

Create magic of sorts

As the pen and paper meet, a world is transformed

A bridge from the mind to reality

It’s who I am, it’s what I love

It’s my creativity

Love Unconditionally

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Love Unconditionally

Wanda Wade

Within my belly a new live began to form

A tiny flutter I felt from you

And in that moment a love I never knew

Had formed between us two

Instantly a bond was created

Truly one understated

Yet my heart was at your mercy

To it you held on tight

Together we took flight

Into a land of firsts

Transformed into make-believe

Still I can't believe

How time has flown

Amazed at how you've grown

Into you, the one who

Captured me with love unconditionally

I admittedly surrender to you

For my love has no end to what was created

For this I'm elated

Your mother I will be

For an eternity

Dedicated to Ryan, Kyle Jr., Michaela & Ethan

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday

Wanda Wade

Today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. It's recognized as a time to  change or give up something that may be hindering your growth and spirituality. It's a time of reflection and it symbolizes Christ's 40 days in the wilderness.

WELCOME the day with open arms and use WISDOM in all decisions.

If you want to change or give up something now may be a good time to do so though WILLPOWER may be required.

Fat Tuesday

Fat Tuesday

Wanda Wade

Today is Fat Tuesday in my hometown of New Orleans! It commemorates the last day to eat richer and enjoy all the Mardi Gras festivities. It's a time when most New Orleanians have been known to Lassiez Les Bon Temps Rouler!

So in the spirit of metaphorically "eating richer" make a  pledge to TRANSFORM your life and TACKLE those things that have gone undone because in doing so it will put you a step closer to realizing your dreams and TREASURE in the moment that success will follow!

Monday, Monday

Monday, Monday

Wanda Wade

Typically Monday wasn't a day I looked forward to because it meant the weekend was over and time to get back into my weekly routine.

I truly resented Mondays and it's intrusion on my carefree weekend 

but in order to get through that first day of the week I had to change how I viewed it.

I now look at Mondays as a day to begin again, start over, a new opportunity to accomplish my goals or even create new ones. So I challenge you on this first day of the work week to:

Embrace this MONDAY, make the MOST of it and stay MOTIVATED!